"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
03/18/2015 at 12:44 • Filed to: None
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"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
03/18/2015 at 12:44 • Filed to: None | 9
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This morning, I tried to thin out the ridiculous number of loyalty cards in my my wallet. I found my BMW Ultimate Benefits™ card, which I've yet to use in the not-quite 2 years I've had my BMW. So I decided to see the sort of Ultimate Benefits™ to which I am entitled as a BMW driver.
If you watch the video at the top of this post, you might get the impression that BMW Ultimate Benefits™ include surfing, rock climbing, skydiving, tropical resorts, driving along mountain passes, roller coasters, mountain biking, and shopping in fancy malls while wearing stiletto heels. Well, I'm here to set the record straight.
!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! is the BMW Ultimate Benefits™ site. Because BMW Ultimate Benefits™ is such an exclusive club, you can't actually see the Ultimate Benefits™ unless you have a BMW. But as a BMW driver, I have access, exclusive access in fact, and can share with you the amazing Ultimate Benefits™ that I qualify for as a BMW driver.
Just look at these amazing deals!
Audible Books - Two whole free audio books.
Bang & Olufsen - $100 off a Beolit 12 bluetooth speaker from beoplay.com, while supplies last. I just checked beoplay.com and they don't list the Beolit 12 bluetooth speaker, only the Beolit 15 bluetooth speaker. I guess supplies didn't last.
Dean & Deluca - 15% off a minimum order of $150 from this gourmet food store. I'm a food nerd so this was appealing, until I saw the prices at Dean & Deluca. !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , anyone?
DriveNow - This is BMW's electric car sharing service in the San Francisco area. So if I ever find myself in San Francisco, I can pay by the minute to drive an electric 1-series, and I get 25% off the lifetime registration fee. The registration fee is $39. That's almost 10 bucks saved.
PGA Tour BMW Championship - If I ever wanted to go to a PGA Tour golf event, I could park in the special BMW owners' parking lot, and spectate from the BMW owners' pavilion. Except when I think of golf, mostly I think of the golf-playing assholes in my life and then I want to hit them with a 9 iron.
Red Door Spa - 20% off at any of the 28 Elizabeth Arden Red Door Spa locations, as long as I go Monday through Thursday. The closest Red Door Spa to me is in Chicago, about 3 hours away, and what the hell am I going to do at a spa anyway?
Sea Island - $250 "Experience Credit" at this golf resort off the coast of Georgia. And we know how I feel about golf.
Wolfgang Puck - Assorted deals at Wolfgang Puck restaurants in California & Las Vegas. One such deal is a California Tasting Menu and a cook book signed by Wolfgang Puck, for $165 per person. The only time I've eaten at a Wolfgang Puck restaurant was when I had a connecting flight through the St. Louis airport and I got a soup & panini at a Wolfgang Puck airport cafe. The soup was so hot it burned the roof of my mouth.
Unfortunately, merging without using your turn signals isn't listed anywhere on the BMW Ultimate Benefits™ site.
For Sweden
> Textured Soy Protein
03/18/2015 at 12:47 |
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I saw Mr. Puck once. He asked if the fish was good. It was good. Good job on that fish, Mr. Puck.
ArmadaExpress drives a turbo outback
> Textured Soy Protein
03/18/2015 at 12:52 |
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Im a BMW driver. I didn't know this existed so I checked it out... I like free audiobooks...
Hermann
> Textured Soy Protein
03/18/2015 at 12:56 |
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That soup pucked your mouth. Pucking soup!
deekster_caddy
> Textured Soy Protein
03/18/2015 at 13:01 |
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The reality of BMW owners:
Given two free audiobooks. Complains about it online.
;)
Skater Dad
> ArmadaExpress drives a turbo outback
03/18/2015 at 13:38 |
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Sounds very similar to the deal that Audible gives nearly everyone anyhow, just 2 instead of 1.
All the podcasts I've ever listened to give you a promo code for a free audiobook on there.
this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata
> Textured Soy Protein
03/18/2015 at 14:05 |
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BMW Ultimate Benefits: Yes most of our Ultimate Driving Machines aren't as Ultimate as they used to be, some of them are even FWD, so that test drive was probably a little disappointing... But look! Here's a bunch of stock GoPro footage of attractive white people having expensive fun to distract you while you sign this piece of paper that looks suspiciously like a lease! Now take the damn key fob, and the plastic rewards card you're going to forget about, go forth, and drive a little more like an asshole than you used to.
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Textured Soy Protein
> this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata
03/18/2015 at 15:30 |
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My BMW is one of the fun ones though.
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this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata
> Textured Soy Protein
03/18/2015 at 15:32 |
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Ahhhhh good choice! I'm still a fan of Bimmer, I just get grumpy about them now trying to pass off MPV's and such as driving machines lol.